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Negotiation within any industry is a tricky business but when emotions and the human aspects of the process are involved, it becomes an even more complex maze to navigate. Roger Fisher and William Ury, authors of the international bestseller, Getting to Yes, tell us of the importance of separating people from the problem to successfully move forward in negotiations. I recently had the opportunity to speak with Vice President of Business Development at SoilPros and Associates and former Marketing and Promotions Representative at CBS Radio, Jay Stevens, about his experience learning to separate emotions and people from the issues at hand in negotiation.
Mr. Stevens brought up an excellent point that often when negotiations come to a stalemate, it not only takes remembering that the person we are working with is just that, a person, but also creativity to move past whatever is holding things up. He shared with me a story about a time when he was working with a client whose previous salesperson had created a negative relationship. This was a major client that the company needed to regain trust and business with. As Mr. Stevens pointed out, they both had objectives. His was just to have a conversation with the client while the client wanted to do everything they could to avoid it. After all traditional means to contact the client were attempted, Mr. Stevens found an Indiana Jones bullwhip at a flea market over the weekend. He stopped by the client’s office, laid the bullwhip on the client’s desk and bent over. This was a bold move, but as Mr. Stevens put it, he had a choice, push back as hard as the client was and see who would be the first to break, or find some humility and recognize he needed to just fall on the sword and make it happen. Mr. Stevens knew the real issue was not with the company and keeping that in mind found a way, though unconventional, to open negotiations again, regaining the client’s trust and business.
I also asked Mr. Stevens what advice he had for someone who is new to negotiations. He offered that it is important to remember to not confuse business with friendship. That you will work with some people you like and some that you don’t like but in the end, it is all about making the best deal (on both yours and the client’s part).
“You'll do a lot of business and it will be a real pleasure, business lunches, golf outings, baseball games, you name it. You give them a good price and they give you the business....until someone comes along with better box seats, or a bigger steak, or a lower price, and you're 'good friend and business associate isn't returning your calls anymore because he's jumped to a bigger fish. You'll be frustrated over all the time and effort you put in to developing the relationship only to see it washed away over (literally) two cents. You thought they were your friend!! What happened!? Turns out they weren't really your "friend" after all. They viewed you as a "supplier" and nothing else.”
You have to remove the personal emotion involved and remember that when you are in a negotiation, you have an objective. The person sitting across from you has an objective. The goal is to build a relationship with people so that they see you as a ‘partner’, never just a ‘supplier’ so that ‘two cents cheaper’ isn’t worth the savings. (Jay Stevens)
